Thursday, October 31, 2013

A Penalty On The Play: The Stay At Home Parent's Quest For Employment

I've been a stay at home parent for over 14 yrs. and I've worked sporadically over that time. After I obtained my Bachelor's degree and relocated, I knew it would be easier to obtain employment. How wrong was I? If anything, my opportunity for career growth went stagnant. It was almost as if employers had a cease and desist order out on my hopes and dreams. I have experience and I'm qualified for a great many positions, but I have gaps in my employment history. The reason for the gaps is that I, like many of my friends, have had the great opportunity and privilege to be at home and raise my kids. I grew up in a family of working, independent women and I was one myself until I married a man in the military. The life of a military wife, for me was not one of relocating and transitioning to wonderful places, but one where my husband would be gone from days to weeks to months at a time. While we did get stationed in beautiful Puerto Rico and Savannah, GA, it was my honor and duty to my family to run the household as smoothly as possible. It's not that we don't trust anyone to care for our kids, but we know what our kids need and we care for them the best. A stay at home parent is one that is ridiculed by those that don't do so, we're put down because it comes across as we do nothing all day, and most of the time it's an unappreciative, thankless task to the ones we care for.

The "stay-at-home-parent" stigma, as what the corporate society would label it, is not only treated like a form of leprosy but it’s as if we’re treated like those with criminal backgrounds.  It should be listed under, “Have you been convicted of any felony or misdemeanor in the past 12 months…blah blah blah…”  All of the qualities that we develop during our course as a stay at home mom is overlooked and undervalued to a great extent.  If we could list our skills and abilities of: multi-tasking, creating a budget, making travel itineraries, scheduling appointments, being enthusiastic and self-directed, interpersonal communication, the ability to diffuse a hostile encounter through mediation,  and a self-starter - in the home environment on a resume without stating our current employment status, we would all be hired in a jiffy.  I have come to understand that being a “domestic engineer” (LOL) is one of the greatest rewarding jobs ever and I wouldn’t trade that experience with anything in the world.  Maybe there should be an organization that assists with stay at home parents getting HIRED not just INTERVIEWED and being told that you're OVERQUALIFIED-UNDERQUALIFIED-OR WE CHOSE SOMEONE THAT FITS THE NEEDS OF OUR COMPANY OVER YOU!! This is some bull on another level!!!  We’re either looked at as lazy and twiddling our thumbs when we are trying to find employment and we can’t get hired. So, we’ve been convicted, incarcerated, and shackled for the crime of being a nth degree stay at home parent.  I’ve have had my resume reviewed by my sister who is a hiring manager and also made the necessary corrections to make it exceptional all to no avail. Gemini has paid to have her resume professionally written by a resume writing company that could sell her abilities, but to no avail, has still been denied employment.

Fast forward to now, I've relocated again to a city where the sky is the limit when it comes to career opportunities only to be shut down and shot down in my search for gainful employment. I get that I have the gaps, but when I'm working I am loyal to a fault. This is my opinion and mine alone, stay at home parents
get a bad rap for being stay at home parents. The proof of what a stay at home parent can bring to any employer is our level of commitment, loyalty, passion, and drive. Why not give any stay at home parent the opportunity to show their worth? I've been taught that in order to gain a level of success or greatness, you must use your time wisely and invest in those tangible things that will lead to accomplishing success. A stay at home parent could be that employee to break the mold and, if the employee is anything like I strive to be, that employee will excel at any task and bust through that alleged glass ceiling if only given the opportunity.

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